The making of: The process
View the process of my intuitive paintings here and discover the story behind my work.
The transformations that take place on the canvas are a reflection of my personal transformations. They are sincere representations of my growth process and reflections, where I give you a glimpse into my soul.
Although I find it a bit scary to expose myself to the outside world on the deepest level, I also realize that a better world starts with ourselves. I hope that my work can inspire you to explore your inner landscapes and understand them even better, so that together we can make the world a little more pleasant from the inside. The paintings are in chronological order.
Click on the desired work below for more information.
The process
I made this painting in one day during my Vedic Art course. I used to paint mostly realistic scenes and wanted to learn to let go of the rules. My brush strokes and lines were still very stiff in the beginning. I found free painting quite difficult and I was still searching during the process. While I was working I started to become more aware of my desires. I wanted texture and glued some sand on the bottom left. I thought of the Tuscan countryside and started to paint this. The moment felt magical, which was expressed with the purple and dark blue colors. Eventually I took a brush, diluted the paint with water and dabbed it above the landscape. The watery paint dripped down. To prevent this from running further I laid the painting flat. I enjoyed this so much and while I looked at the work I thought: 'This feels liberating, I want to keep doing this'. I made a representation of my inner world and captured a dream, hence the name 'Dreamday'.
Unfortunately I didn't take that many pictures of this process, because I was so absorbed in it.
The process
Unfortunately I didn't take many pictures of 'City Drone' during the process, because I notice that I have trouble getting out of my flow. City Drone is one of my first intuitively made paintings on canvas with a larger format. I started combining different techniques and forms. It was in a period of my life when I was looking for something new. I was curious, enthusiastic and especially experimenting a lot. When I finished the painting, it reminded me of a mysterious alien city, which is in harmony with nature. This can be seen in the mushrooms, bushes, leaves and shell-like shapes. I see an enormous richness in this mysterious landscape and for the first time I discovered my own depth.
The process
Facing fears vs. limits is about my fears that I was allowed to overcome during this period of my life. Often when I feel angry or stuck, there is chaos and I create a kind of black hole, which can be seen in the 3rd image. I often felt restless inside, which can be seen in the dynamics of the painting. It looks like a strong wind is blowing and trying to blow a bird over. The bird remains steadfast. Another bird has become stuck in a swing. Birds symbolize freedom. I did not feel free while creating this work. I could be brave and face my fears, or choose to be limited by my fears.
The process
I made this work when my life was once again shrouded in darkness. I had been rejected by a person I was in love with and I didn't understand it. In order to focus on something other than the pain, I started painting. I only saw black in front of me and I started with that color. Gradually I saw an image in the darkness which I tried to bring to the surface more and more. I accentuated the lines by adding different colors and white. It seemed as if the light was trying to get through and was even refracted, causing it to fall out in all different colors. In the end it looks like a fish, which is held with thin wires to prevent it from falling into prickly water plants.
The work is called 'Hold me', because at that moment I wanted nothing more than the human need to hold someone. The water in this work represents the emotions I was swimming in. The thin threads are like my painting supplies, holding me and preventing me from falling.
The process
When I was still painting realistically, I once started with an Egyptian empress, sitting on her throne with her leopard on her lap. I never finished this work. Years later, in 2020, I picked up this painting again. The empress looked at me and I couldn't stand her face anymore. I immediately painted over it and decided to make something else out of it.
I find it interesting to philosophize about the meaning of life. During the period that I painted over this work I was struggling with the question whether we are gods who create our own world, or whether there is a God who created everything for us. Was creation finished in 6-7 days, as the Bible says, or is it still going on and we are in the middle of it? Maybe we will never know the answer for sure, but one thing is certain to me: the fact that we can love and create makes us divine beings.
After the transformation, we see in the painting a young leopard dreaming. In the dream we see a Goddess being formed in a kind of womb. The golden crown on the All-Seeing Eye represents her protection during this process, where she is on her way to her princely destiny.
The process
Vanilla sky high shows the cheerfulness and the 'high' I was in. I enjoyed my life and had a lot of fun with it. I was driven and discovered new forms. I absorbed a lot of new information and was as curious as a child. At the same time there was a mystery that I did not understand much of and could not decipher. The ice cream with the petals are cheerful, but are upside down and worms come out of them. The purple fire on the central fungus has the contours of leaves. Is this a bush after all? The patterns in the two dark blue disks seem to be a mystical language that I do not yet understand. The thing in the sky seems to be a UFO, which looks at you penetratingly. On the pumpkin-like house sit a number of figures, self-confident and open to contact with the unknown.
I have described the process of 'Erupted Wormhole' in detail in a blog.
